The Life I Took
by Anonymous Person AP
Summary: This is a fast moving story about Kyd Wykkyd, mostly.
1. Chapter 1

**The Life I Took**

 **A/N: This is a story I have written however, A few people had suggested things and planted thoughts inside my head that made me alter the course of this story. On that Note, I have re-written some parts within the first chapter (Mostly the ending) and the entirety of the ending. This is a sad story and for those looking for that happy love story, this is not it. This story will end in tragedy and I will** ** _Not_** **change that. So, without further interruption, here is the story I originally wished to write.**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Teen Titans.**

Chapter One:

The people within this city believe that all villains are equal, which has never been the case. As a thief and a former member of Hive I will confirm this. There was never a time in my life where I had thought about taking another's life. Not even when being captured by the team calling themselves Titans and thrown in jail. It just wasn't who I was. I was not a murder and was never intending to become one.

Slade on the other hand – an assassin who'd killed many people without moral and tried to destroy the world at a time – had no concern with lives but choose not to steal. We were completely different. He killed people and I stole things. Yet the city pretended our crimes where the same, so similar even that they had created a cover on front of the newspapers showing the villains and Slade with the headline "Murders are taking the streets".

This burned me inside. I left the Hive for this very reason. They wanted to murder people and I didn't. The Hive Five – which I joined after leaving Hive – agreed with me on this. They weren't killers either, they just wanted to have fun and take stuff. My reasons for stealing was 'just' compared to theirs but we had still gotten on well.

At this moment, the Hive Five members and I sat around eating pizza and drawing over the paper. Seemore and Billy talked to me, agreed with me that this was an outrage. They too hated the idea of being a killer, although Mammoth didn't seem phased by the idea at all.

The alarm sounded and Gizmo rushed the computer. The alarm had been set to tell us when valuable items appeared in the city and today's item was inside Jump City bank depositary. In a matter of minutes the team was ready and I had teleported us to the roof.

While Gizmo worked on the security and Mammoth watched for people who might stop us, Billy and Seemore talked about things that might annoy them more than that newspaper. Billy said something like being compared to a woman, he was always full of himself and Seemore mentioned Jinx. At the mention of Jinx – our former leader and a woman at that – Billy cringed and retracted his statement.

None of us had felt the best since our leader had left. She had given up her friends for the hero life and for that jerk speedster Kid Flash. After that day, there was arguments, we managed to make out team again, even voted Gizmo as our leader, but it had changed how well we worked together.

We had all sat down and talked about what had happened with Jinx. Gizmo being the youngest didn't care much for woman and because of this he wasn't likely to fall for them. Mammoth had said that none of the heroes interested him and nothing more. We assumed that it meant he could be relayed on. Seemore and Billy were another case however, they had both shown interest in hero's before. Seemore had flirted with Starfire at one time and Billy had flirted with Kole. They swore that this would not change them, that they would not switch sides. That was it.

There was no doubt about myself, I hadn't flirted with any of the titans and I had shown interest in a villain. Angel – the Hive's winged beauty – and my current ex, not that my team members knew this. They assumed Angel and I were doing well however, she had shown her true colours to me. During the battle with the Brother Hood of Evil she had been seen with Red X and left with him. There was no point in trying to deny what I already knew. Neither of us felt much of anything for one another anyway so I had supposed it was for the best. I also had no plans on falling for a hero so my team needn't worry…

There was a small beep and then Gizmo turned and smiled. "They still haven't bothered updating this piece of junk, it's like they want to be stolen from," he said.

The group went one at a time down a rope into the bank. It was dark inside with only slivers of moonlight getting in from the skylight. Seemore turned to Gizmo to ask about light but the boy genius was already crouched on the ground with a gadget out hacking into the system. Within seconds the lights came on and everything became clear…

"Titans Go!" Robin yelled.

I teleported into a shadowy corner where I could better plan my attack from. The titans had made this happen. They made it so an expensive item would be here, they made sure the bank would be easy for us to get in and inside they had waited.

Beast Boy and Cyborg were taking on Billy and his dozen clones. Starfire was fighting Seemore and Gizmo on her own. The two where to wrapped up in their own to tech to popularly fight her. Robin was fighting against Mammoth and Raven was, standing there. I was smart enough to know she was searching for me, trying to find out if I was still here or not.

The bank was too light now for me to fight effectively but outside wasn't. She was the only one who'd notice my disappearance. I teleported to the roof. I figured I could beat her and then go and help my friends.

Raven appeared seconds after me and was already sending a wave of her magic out. I may not like any of the hero's but I couldn't deny that she had talent. She wields her magic with such elegance and I doubted I could ever match that.

I did my best to dodge her attacks and moved closer to her. She was a good fighter when using her magic, however it was clear she relied on it a little much. I managed to subdue her by knocking her feet from under her and holding her down. From this position, she was trapped against the concert and myself, the only issue was that I couldn't move either. There was no way for me to knock her out without giving her an opening and knowing how she was, it would likely be the end of me.

I never had to make a choice though, the roof came apart beneath Raven and we fell through to the bank vault. It turns out Seemore had been pushed while firing, causing his shoot to hit the roof. I was left rolling off Raven and staring at the ceiling. Neither of us jumped up straight away. When I rose first I assumed it was because I was more content with the pain, however when seeing her and the pain on her face I could see the real reason. She had fallen and hit the ground, unlike myself – as she broke my fall – and was now breathing heavily.

There was something off about the way she looked, even when she managed to stand up. The way she held her side and hung her head, and the pain that covered her eyes. I wanted to apologise for that but restrained myself. She was still the enemy, even if she was in pain.

As the fighting continued I found myself feeling worse and worse for Raven. Since our fall through the ceiling she had been knocked over a few times and was even bleeding. Few of her team members noticed her pain, or if they did they ignored it.

Raven was now standing a good ten feet from Seemore with her shield up to block his eyebeam. Behind her was some decorative sculpture that had plenty of points on it. The moment I saw her shied breaking I knew what would happen. She would be thrown back into that sculpture and possible die. It was my fault. I had injured her so badly she couldn't fight back anymore.

Seemore sent out another steam from his eye to her – I couldn't watch her die – I teleported next to her and shoved her out of the way. Before I knew it, I was thrown of my feet into a poorly designed sculpture…

 **POV Switch**

…" Wykkyd," I called as I sat back up, staring at his body. His arms and stomach was caught in someone's idea of art and his eyes were wide.

Before I could think of my next move I was up on my feet and moving towards him. He fell forward to the ground, his own blood pooling around him. All I could think was this was my fault. I turn him over and hold my hands above him, they were shaking and trembling from fear. I can't be responsible for somebody's death; I'm meant to be the hero.

My powers had no effect on him though. It could be because his powers opposed mine. I knew I had to at least stop the blood. I placed my hands over the worse injury and applied pressure. Robin knelt beside me and held his other wound, he was saying something to the others but I couldn't hear it. I was so focused on the blood and on Wykkyd to notice anything.

The Hive Five left, they looked horrified and sad and yet they still left. Cyborg and I teleported back to the tower. I helped him as best I could with Wykkyd. Stitching him up took time and a lot more effort then I'd have liked. Wykkyd was left in a bed once Cyborg was finished. He looked sore and broken.

I remained sitting in the room even after Cyborg and the others had gone to bed. I didn't want to leave his side, not after he'd saved my life. Why did he save my life though? We were enemies, it would have made sense for him to kill me. But he chooses to save me.

It was sometime late at night that I was awoken by a voice inside my head. It sounded male but with no real distinction. The voice I presumed came from Kyd Wykkyd who as of now was sitting up and staring at his surroundings. I understood what he might be feeling, he'd almost died twice while Cyborg was stitching him up and would likely have no clue where he was.

He turned to me and stared with worried eyes. He looked almost childlike, scared of what might happen too himself. 'Why am I here? Where are my friends?' he asked. I couldn't lie to him but I also didn't want him to know that he was abandoned, somehow that seemed curl.

"They weren't allowed in the tower so they left," I lied against my better judgement, "we brought you here after you saved me, you needed treatment,"

He looked worried, his face scrunched 'Does this mean that I'm going to be taken to prison then,' he asked. I hadn't even thought about that, yes he was a villain but he'd also saved my life.

I sighed and leaned back in the chair. What was I going to tell him, we hadn't made any plans so it wasn't like I was just going to throw him in jail, but at the same time he was a thief and should be in jail. At least for right now I could promise him a home here, his injuries made it hard for him to move so for right now jail and anywhere else was out of the question.

"You'll be here for a while because of your injuries but besides that I have no idea what will happen," I said. He didn't seem phased by my answer, he made no face of argument against what I said.

'So why are you here, it's the middle of the night shouldn't you be sleeping or are you making sure I don't try and bolt. As you said, my injuries would make it hard for me to be anywhere besides here,'

"I wanted to make sure you're okay and, I wanted to thank you. You saved my life," I place a hand softly on his to get his attention, he'd been staring out the window for quite some time. He looked at my hand for a bit before turning his eye on me.

'If you were a better fighter you wouldn't have needed saving,' Kyd turned back to the window, shrugging my hand off. I knew he didn't mean what he had said but it still irritated me. I sighed once more and stood, he clearly didn't want my company. As I was leaving he said something. 'Please stay,' I stopped and leaned on the doorframe for a moment. He was sad and upset but his words sounded lonely. I got the feeling that he knew his friends abandoned him.

"Okay," I whispered to myself. I turned back around and walked over to him. I sat in the chair by his side till morning.

 **Three Days Later**

Kyd had healed fast, I assumed because of his powers he could get over physical injuries almost as fast as I could. His mood had improved, at least towards myself anyway. Around the others: Cyborg, Beast Boy, Starfire and Robin, he would close again.

I, for the most part, took care of him. I brought food and water when he needed it and kept an eye on his injuries. He seemed grateful although he'd never admit that.

"You're almost completely healed," I said but my voice sounded upset. I had started to like Wykkyd, he was fun to talk to.

'And that makes you upset, do you like seeing me in physical pain,' He asked, smiling a little at me. I couldn't help but smile with him. I'd miss seeing him like this. Just a normal teenaged boy with black hair and grey eyes. He normally looked menacing with his sharp red eyes.

He had taken contacts out of his eyes after a day of being here and explained that he wore them scare people. Although he was a demon, he wasn't at all frightening so he had to make do with contacts and a costume.

We spent time talking about our lives. He asked me why it was I had become a hero. I explained to him about my father, Trigon, a demon who had killed billons, destroyed plants and had impregnated my mother with me so I could be another tool in his destruction. He understood me and my reasons. He knew that I wanted to rid myself of my father's bad name, to become my own person.

Kyd then told me about his life. He was abandoned as a child and grow up on the streets. It had taken him years to grasp his powers and to keep himself alive he took to crime. He mostly stole food or clothes; he never stole for pleasure or fun until he started attending the Hive Academy. They showed him what he could do, they taught him how to use his powers properly and gave him a home. All the Hive asked for in return was for him to do what they asked without question.

Of course, he had become a welling thief for them. They were giving him everything he wanted. A home, a bed of his own and he'd even meet people he cared deeply for and now considered his family. I understood, I would have given anything as a child to have a real family. Both of us had waited till we were teens to have that.

I left Wykkyd on his own when the alarm sounded in the tower. It was the Hive Five knocking over a bank for the second time. I wondered if they remembered Wykkyd at all, they hadn't tried to see him since that night, but more likely they were scared to come here.

 **POV Switch**

Raven had just left the tower and already I was missing her. I wasn't sure what was happening with me. In the time, we had spent together I had started to feel things for her. I liked her, probably more than I ever had Angel. But we were different. She was a hero and I was a villain, I couldn't be with her, I knew that.

I allowed half an hour to pass so I was sure that the Titans were no longer here before I pulled the covers off and tried to stand. My legs had been aching for days but I hadn't complained, I didn't want to annoy Raven. She had taken great care of me, better care then any of my friends would have taken, which was the reason I didn't want to annoy her anymore.

My cape, shoes and mask where sitting on a bench at the other side of the room, all I had to do was walk over and get them. I had only managed to get my shoes on by the time I heard the doors open. I knew I had waited too long.

Cyborg came down into the medical bay with Raven in his arms and my heart felt like it stopped. She was hurt, I could see the bruises and cuts. He looked at me for a second then continued to deal with Raven without a second thought. I should have left but I just couldn't.

I pulled the stuff from the bed and passed Cyborg the stuff he needed to treat her wounds. I couldn't believe my team had hurt her so badly.

'They did this to her?' I asked. Cyborg pressed his lips tightly together and stayed focus on Raven.

"No," he mumbled when Raven started to levitate. He dropped into the chair and turned to me. "She did this to herself,"

'How?' I demanded. I wasn't sure why I was so protective of her, I just was.

"Raven has been sick for the past week, it started as just a cold but I think all the fighting has made it worse. She has a high fever and was struggling to see two steps in front of her. Honestly I'm amazed she hasn't made you sick," I turned to her and grabbed her hand. Being sick explains how I got the upper hand on her during out last battle.

'She'll be fine though?'

"Yeah, she just needs proper rest. Come to think of it she was actually getting better while taking care of you, guess it's because she didn't have to anything," he chuckled and picked my mask off the floor. "You planning on leaving," he asked, passing it to me.

I shook my head and grabbed another chair, sitting it beside the bed. 'I want to stay,'

Cyborg didn't argue with me, he didn't even blink an eye, he just placed my mask down and leaned back in the chair. "Might be a while before she wakes up, you hungry?"

Cyborg brought me in pizza and told the Titans that I would be staying for some time. He didn't let a single person argue with him either. Beast Boy and Starfire had come to check on Raven through the night and when morning hit Robin had come in. He checked on her before asking to speak with me.

I followed him through the tower to the kitchen. I expected him to have a dozen or so cops ready to take me in, or a band of Titans ready to stomp me to bits but there was just a breakfast and him.

"Cyborg told me you'll be staying for some time, I want to know why?" he said, leaning on the bench in front of me.

I honestly had no Idea why I was staying, she should have meant nothing at all to me but I couldn't leave just the same. I thought that it might be the fact she was a demon as well, that maybe I was connecting with her for that reason. But it was simpler, I had fallen in love with her, but I wasn't about to admit that.

'She helped me when I was hurt and I wish to repay the favour,' he looked like he might just laugh at my comment. Was I so easy to read.

"You can say you have feelings for her, no one here will tell,"

'If you knew, then why ask?' I asked. It annoyed me, they already knew I was falling for her and now they were mocking me.

"I wanted to be sure of it. Raven has only opened herself up to a person once before and she got hurt. He was a monster who used her, if she opens up again and gets hurt she'll never trust anyone,"

'What are you worried about, I'm a criminal, a thief, she'd never fall for someone like me,'

"You can't be sure of that. She already spends more time with you then she has with anyone. I just want to make sure you do what's best for her. If you have any intention of leaving her for your life of crime then save her the pain and just leave," Robin walked pass me and through the doors. I heard them shut, leaving me in an empty room with my thoughts.

I knew he was right, I'd be better off just leaving before I hurt her without meaning to. I went back downstairs to where she was. While she stayed asleep I picked my stuff up, putting my mask and cape back on before teleporting back to my room.

The place was cold and the lights where all out. I presumed that my friends were already out, they usually left early morning to hang out with some of the other villains. I had a shower and changed into jeans and a shirt before dropping back onto my bed.

All I could think about though was Raven. It didn't matter what I did she was the only thing on my mind. I knew leaving the way I did would make her hate me but it was still better then hurting her later. At least now we could go back to being enemies, nothing more.

I wasn't sure when I had fallen asleep. I remembered coming home and having a shower, I remembered laying on my bed and the images of Raven flooding my brain but I didn't remember closing my eyes or falling into a deep sleep. It was late in the afternoon, about five. My friends would be home any minute and what would they find? A love-sick puppy? I was supposed to be a villain.

I pulled myself off my bed and grabbed my cloak and mask. I should at least look like the villain I am. I had my mask in one hand and cape in the other when I realised that I had left the contacts at the tower. I hit my head and threw my mask to the bed, I pulled on my cape on teleported to the tower.

I had hoped that Raven would still be resting but had no such luck. She was sitting up and holding the contacts in her hands. I sighed and stepped from the shadows.

"I thought you had left without saying goodbye," she said. She was staring out the window.

'I needed to change,' I said. She turned to me and held her hand out with my contacts.

"You're going to need them if you plan on leaving,"

I thought about what it would be like going back to my friends. Since the moment I had left I had done nothing but think about Raven and what it would be like to live without her. I wasn't sure I wanted to go back to that. The thought of just being a criminal again, stealing things because where bored, hurting people to get what we what, and hurting her. I didn't want to go back to it.

I took the contacts from her hand and stared at them for a moment. If I gave up crime would I be allowed to stay, Jinx had given up a life of crime and worked with Kid Flash, could I do the same thing. I wanted to try at least.

I dumped the contacts in the bin beside the bed and sat back down beside the bed. 'I needed to think, I wasn't sure what I wanted to do,' Raven stared at the bin, a puzzled look on her face.

"You're quitting the Hive Five?" she sounded upset with my decision.

'Yes, if it means I can stay here,' I said. She smiled and leaned on the pillows that where propped behind her.

"I love that you want to stay but how am I to beat you up now," I chuckled at her comment and leaned back in the chair. I had been worried for nothing.

 **Two Days Later**

I had helped move Raven from the medical room to her bed. She had spent the last two days in her room reading or talking to me. I was sure she knew by now why I was staying, seeing as I hadn't left her bedside since I moved in here.

While she rested, I went out and brought her some food. Without the contacts and my costume no one recognised me at all. I could walk in stores without being kicked out or the cops being called.

I brought us chicken noodles using money the Titans had given me and then looked for a spot away from eyes. I ducked into an ally way and teleported back to Ravens room. She had woken up while I'd been away and was now reading. I sat the boxes on the bedside table and propped pillows behind her so she would be able to sit better.

'I thought you might like something besides pizza,' I said to her. She went to take one of the boxes but I stopped her. Raven glared at me as I tried to feed her.

"It's not like I can't move, I'm only sick," she tried to protest but eventually she gave up and allowed me to feed her.

'I'm just trying to make sure you get better as fast as possible,' I said while scooping up another small mouthful.

"Why? Getting sick of me already," she said, I shook my head left the spoon a few feet away from her. She rolled her eyes and leaned forward for the spoon, while I pulled it back till she was close enough for me to kiss her forehead. Raven stopped moving and looked up at me with her wide eyes.

'I could never get sick of you,' I smiled and moved to lean my forehead on hers. 'I, I really like you'

She smiled and took the spoon from my hand, which was good because I felt I might drop it. Raven sat back up and flicked the food at me. "You're far too serious," I glared at her while flicking the bits of food off my face. She leaned forward, her lips touching mine.

I completely forgot about the fact that she had just thrown food at me, or the fact that I betrayed my friends and would likely never talk to them again. I was lost in her kiss. I pulled her closer to me, one of my hands wrapping around her slim waist and the other tangling in her hair. I already felt out of breath and yet I didn't want to pull away from her.

We pulled apart from one another. She was half off the bed and breathing deeply while I seemed completely normal, although inside I was just trying to get a hold of myself. I wanted to pull her closer to me, to have her lips back on mine.

Raven moved down on the bed so was in front of me. I was on a chair with wheels so it didn't take much for her to pull me closer, and her hands grabbed the collar of my shirt. She pulled me against her and kissed me again.

We spent the night kissing each other till we fell asleep and by morning I had caught her cold. She laughed at me and told me it was my own fault that I should have known better. I couldn't fault her logic; I should have known I would get sick from making out like that with her.

 **One Year Later**

I remained at Titans West for the year that passed as Raven's boyfriend although she never directly called me that. I never regretted my decision to leave the Hive Five and I doubted I ever would. The Titans had welcomed me into their home and family and I had Raven.

There was only one down side to my switch. The villains I had to face also knew my weakness. For the most part this hadn't become an issue, I had managed to get away from almost everything. I had maybe two scars from fights, but Raven had healed them.

Raven and I had become closer as well, but just as she wouldn't admit I was her boyfriend, neither of us would admit we loved the other one. I had attempted to tell her on a few different occasions but was never able to get the words out.

It was on that morning that things had changed for us. I woke up with my feet strapped to the legs of a chair, and one of my hands clamped to the arm. I had felt panicked at first, but the sight of Raven across from me had settled that unease. She was like me, her legs and both her hand strapped down to a wooden chair. Neither one of us had known what was happening. We weren't aware of what this place meant for us.

I looked around the room with a growing realisation resting inside my mind. I couldn't teleport. If my magic was not working, then it was safe to assume that Raven's power would not be working as well. This meant that we would need to be completely reliant on her friends and their abilities, something I wasn't completely comfortable with. I trusted them as much as I possible could but there was always a feeling of unease from them. I believed it steamed from my relationship with Raven. They all seemed rather over protective of her.

There was nothing around the room that would be worth description, however close by there was a table which was directly between Raven and myself. The table was a simple brown table, nothing special about it at all. Except, maybe the object that laid on top of it. There was a silver and black gun laid in the centre of the table. Now I understood why my hands where free, or at least the reasoning behind a free hand.

Off to the side of Raven was a TV. It was an older model that was quite large. The unit it had been placed on creaked from the weight and I wondered if it may collapse. It wasn't completely out of the question.

Besides the two items beside and in front of us there was one other notable item within the room. Two large saw blades where positioned above our heads. If they were lowered it was clear what would happen. Raven and myself would be split open. I didn't like the idea of that, and wasn't looking forward to that blade coming down on us, though I knew it would. Her friends needed to hurry.

Suddenly, the TV beside Raven switched on and she stirred. I saw as her eyes flickered with fear and unease. She glanced around the room, then finally to me. A glimmer of relief seemed to flash across her face and she smiled shyly. I returned her smile but it was tight and uneased. I wanted to show her that we would be fine, but there was nothing that would stop us from being hurt.

Slade appeared on the screen, the darker side of his mask covered by shadows. He seemed to be staring easily through the screen at Raven and myself, like he knew that our attention was on him.

"Ah Raven, I've been waiting for you,"

"Why? What is it you want with Wykkyd and myself?" Raven glared at the screen, her hands gripped into fist and she tried her best to pull herself free. I watched as rage and hatred run through her eyes. She was someone who expressed everything they were feeling with one look, of course if you weren't paying attention that look would disappear and you'd miss it all. Through our time together I spent most days staring into those deep eyes, watching for all the emotions she poured into them.

"I have no interest in Wykkyd, it is only you I'm interested. After what happened with Trigon I wanted to pay you back, you made me look like a fool," Slade's voice had gradually rose till he sounded angry. Yet right at the end, he seemed to calm down, as if he was reminding himself of all that is to happen.

"You're after me for that, Slade when I get out of here I'm going to- "Slade chuckled, cutting Raven off midsentence. He seemed to be laughing more at a hidden joke then her. I didn't like how telling he was. Everything about him, everything he was doing just said far too much about what was going to happen and it scared me more than it should have.

"Please Raven. Only one of you will be leaving and the odds of it being you is very low. I decided to give the choice to our former villain. Now let's sit back and see how reformed he is, shall we? Oh, and of course, if he doesn't choose quickly you will both die," Slade laugh again, pulling a button down from the area above him and letting his finger dance over it.

I took his words in. I would be the one to choose. I would be the one to decide whether Raven dies, or I do. The only another outcome was that we both die which seemed tragic. _Could_ _I wait long enough for her friends to save us_? I thought to myself. _No, they would never make it in time, and Slade's laugh tells me that they don't even have an idea of where we are._

I felt my body jump as the saws above us screeched. On the screen, Slade was laughing as he released the button. He throws the device away, telling me that there was no chance for him to change his mind. He was going to kill us. But why? Why give me the choice to kill one of us if he wants Raven dead. Surely it would have been simpler to just shoot us while we had been knocked out. Unless death isn't what he had in mind.

Raven yelled towards Slade. Her full attention had been placed on him. I understood now. He knew how much she cared and wanted her to hurt another way. He wanted me to shoot myself, so that she would suffer loss. I sighed silently and looked to Raven as my hand rose shakily to the gun.

'I love you Raven, I wish I had another choice, I wish I could be with you but we both know that one of us is going to die. I love you, I need you to know that,' She continued to yell at Slade though, not even looking at me. I sighed and repeated myself to her thinking that maybe she was so out of it to hear me the first time, however she still didn't respond.

I aimed the gun at my head and tried to speak with her once more. I gained no response from her again, however Slade seemed to look in my direction and laughed at my confusion. I turned, considering a puddle on the ground. There was a collar around my neck. It was glowing a reddish colour and seemed to be admitting a small light. I had seen this type of device before. It was a power limiter.

I realised that this was stopping her from hearing me. She would never know that I was truly and completely in love with her. She would never know how her smile made me feel alive, or how her eyes glowed with emotions. Yet the largest regret I could think of as my finger pulled tighter against the trigger. She'll never know how much I love her.

With that thought, I squeezed tighter and felt… BANG!


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2: Aftermath**

I couldn't believe what Slade was trying to do. He truly thought that Kyd would shoot me, which was not the case. It was clear to me that my friends would get here, they always did. Kyd and I would be home by dinner and this would all be behind us. Yet for some reason I found myself terrified and the only logically thing I could do was yell at Slade. It didn't help or change the situation, however it made me feel slightly better.

Slade begin to laugh again as his eyes moved from me to Wykkyd. I hated that for a moment, I thought Wykkyd might have turned the gun on me. I turned, hoping and praying that I was completely mistake, that maybe he was just trying to escape. However, my eyes landed on the gun that rested against his temple. I opened my mouth to scream at him, when suddenly.

BANG!

Tears where leaking from my eyes as the saw above us shut off. I felt my heart grow tight and my throat was dry from the screaming. His blood was splashed over my face; I could taste it inside my mouth and felt it running down my neck. The memory of his smile flashed in my mind as I stared to this lifeless corpse, unable to accept the reality of the situation.

For three days, I remained in this space. I watched as his lifeless body seemed to lose more blood every day. More and more memories flashed into my head, more opportunities also appeared. Moments where I could have taken him to the side and told him what I had always felt. Moments where I could have held him or even kissed him. Moments where I could say _I love you._ And yet all I had was regrets. I had done nothing. I was so busy trying to pretend that we weren't dating that I completely missed my chance.

It was due to my fear. I didn't want another memory like Malchiors inside my mind. But this was worse. It's one thing to be betrayed by someone you _think_ you might love. It's another to watch the person you _are_ in love with die.

"Raven!" my name was yelled from somewhere off to my left. I didn't react, I simple stayed staring ahead of me. "Raven." The voice was closer now, much closer, yet it seemed to trail of on its own. "Oh no."

"Is… How is Raven." A second voice asked. Robin soon appeared to the side of me. His eyes concentrated on mine, searching for a response. I blinked to let him know I was fine but kept my eyes on Wykkyd.

"She's fine. I'm going to get you out of here, Okay?" Robin said. He turned to my restraints and started to undo them. I couldn't help but feel suddenly angry at him. This wasn't the time to worry about me, not with Wykkyd.

"No, help Wykkyd. He's hurt." Said pushing him away once my hand was free.

"Raven?" Cyborg leaned down on the other side of me and seemed to be looking for something, like Robin had.

"Save Wykkyd. You need to help him. We can't let him die." I felt tears running down my face again and struggled as Robin tried to undo my next restraint.

"Raven, we can't do anything for him now, you need to let us help you." Robin said. I throw my foot forward the moment it was free and caught him in his jaw. Robin fell backwards again and rubbed his jaw but said nothing to me.

"Please. Please, just help him. Do something for him. He needs help." I felt my raspy throat dry up further and my eyes became blurry.

"I'm so sorry Raven," that was the last thing I heard before blackness took over.

I woke up in the infirmary of titan tower. There was a change of clothes and towel beside the bed to my left. On the right was a small bowl of soup. I leaned forward, searching the room for any signs of Wykkyd. He wasn't anywhere in sight though. However, my eyes did land on Robin who was leaning in the corner of the room, his gaze turned down.

"Robin, where is Wykkyd?" I asked. I could hear the pain in my own voice, a pain of loss and despair.

"Raven, I'm sorry. We didn't make it to you in time. I'm sorry we allowed you two to be taken to begin with. It's all our… my fault. If I had thought for just a second, then you wouldn't off have fallen into this mess." Robin moved to the bed and sat at the end his hand rested on my cheek and he gently rubbed the tears away.

"Wykkyd. Just tell me where he is, I need to see him." I felt sobs leaving my body. That heart ache I had been trying desperately to ignore came back to me and I found myself clutching the area. I didn't want to continue to burn inside. I needed to make sure Wykkyd was okay.

"Raven, I'm sorry. Wykkyd is dead. He had been dead for three days. I'm sorry, there was nothing we could have done. Even if we'd arrive earlier it was too late." Robin said, trying to hold me. I wouldn't let him. I blamed him. I blamed them all.

"You hated him, you did this so he would disappear. You…" I clutched my chest harder as my breathing became tighter. "You monsters." I said in a whisper.

Though I knew it wasn't like that at all, I needed to blame someone. I needed there to be a responsible party. I needed to hate someone with everything I had.

"I'm sorry. We did everything we could to find you. We didn't hate him. I can promise you that, we never hated him." Robin said. He was still trying to comfort me.

"If you didn't hate him then why couldn't you save him. What's the use in being a hero if you can't save one person?" I turned my face to Robin. Tears where flowing freely down my face but I still managed to glare.

"Raven, you know that's not what happened. There was nothing we could have- "I cut him off with my powers, throwing him back into the doors behind him.

"Get out," I yelled and when he didn't move I scream it at him, throwing the doors open with my powers. I saw things in the room exploding with the impact and emotions of my powers. The lights above me flickered and sparked and the wall in the hall started to crack. Robin took one last glace at me before exiting the room.

I throw myself from my bed and looked around the room. I searched everywhere for where they may be hiding him. I throw cupboards open, looked through the closet and bathroom. Finally, I found some proof that he was here, but it only confirmed what Robin had said. His cape had been left on the ground in the corner that Robin stood in. it was soaked in Wykkyd's blood an amount that would kill anyone.

I'd known from the start, but I wanted it to change. I wanted him to be here, next to me. Seeing his cloak seemed to place some sanity back inside my mind. I leaned on the wall, clenching the martial with an unnecessary amount of force, like it would vanish the moment I let go. Around me my powers where acting on their own. The lights flickered, the furniture wobbled and shock violently. The cabinet's doors where flying open and slamming closed and items that were everywhere thanks to my rampage where now in the air, flinging about. Above all the noise my weeping could be heard as I pulled the cloak closer to me.

 _Wykkyd, how could you do this to me. How could you leave me like that? How could you just leave? You didn't even prepare me. You could have said something, anything._ These were the thoughts that plagued my mind as the room become torn and shattered by my overwhelmed state.

The last thought that entered my mind before I passed out was _did you even love me?_ Then the room spun and turned black.

I woke up in my bedroom this time. Robin was in here like before, however this time I noticed many more faces. Titan's north and east where here plus the members from this tower. Jinx was the closet person to me and held Wykkyd's cape in her hands. There were tears in her eyes as she examined the cloak.

"He was always a good person. I think that's why the two of you had hit it off so easily." Jinx said, turning to me with the cloak. She held it out too me and smile.

"What are you doing here? What are any of you doing here, and in my room, no less?" I asked, snatching the cloak from Jinx. I wasn't in the mood for company and I certain wasn't in the mood for help.

"Besides stopping you from tearing the tower apart, Wykkyd's funeral." Speedy said. My eyes moved across the room and then settled back to Jinx's.

"Why are _all_ of you here. Titans west and Jinx are the only ones who even know him." I said. I didn't want him to be buried with a group of people he had never met surrounding him.

"We know, but he was a hero. He deserves our respects too." Bee said. "But maybe crowding you isn't the best thing right now. We will go." Bee started to push the people from the room.

"Robin." I said. My voice was strained still but I couldn't help that. He stopped and waited for everyone to exit before looking at me. I could see the hurt in his eyes from my early actions. "I'm sorry. I took my frustration out on you when it had nothing to do with you." I said.

Robin moved over and sat beside me on the bed. "I wasn't angry about any of that Raven. I understood that you were hurting and needed someone to yell at. I am concerned however, about you. You completely tore apart the medical room and it took flash and the twins to run through the storm you created." Robin stopped for a moment, pondering his next words careful. "I don't want you to hurt yourself." He said after a long pause.

Raven stared at the cloak in her hands. She wanted to tell him she was fine now and that nothing else would happen, but that was a lie. Right now, she was barely controlling her powers. The only reason her own room wasn't torn apart was due to how weak she felt.

"I will try to kept my powers down. Don't worry." She said forcing the most painful smile she had ever made. Robin grabbed her shoulders and forced her to look at him.

"Raven that isn't what I meant. After what you went through it's not unreasonable to think that you might start hurting yourself. I don't want that to happen. I want you to talk to use and share your pain with use whenever you are feeling it."

Raven stared at him. She wasn't ready for that type of talk. She wasn't ready to think about her emotions in the long run. She only wanted to think about what was happening right now and how she could stop the sharp pain in her chest from spreading. She wished she could tell him that she would talk to them, that she would confine in them but she knew it'd be a lie. She wasn't sure she would ever tell them a thing. She would likely bottle these emotions away like everything else she had ever felt.

"I can't promise anything." She said. Knowing it was all she could say.

Robin sighed and released her. He stared at the ceiling for a while before getting up from the bed and heading to the door. He stopped at the open-door frame and turned to Raven. "I wasn't sure if you wanted to speak. I've left a spot for you to say something if you wanted to, but I understand if it's too much right now." Robin said. Raven shook her head but didn't reply.

Once the door slide closer, Raven fell back against the soft pillow and watched the roof. She thought about what she could say. _Thanks for killing yourself for me. I'm sorry I didn't tell you how I felt. I'm sorry that I caused you so much pain._ The thoughts carried on like this. She didn't have anything to say about Wykkyd that wasn't upsetting.

By the time Bee had come back into her room, Raven had changed in to a black dress top and pants that had been left on her dresser and was staring blankly at the mirror in front of her. "Raven, it's time for use to say goodbye. Are you ready?" Bee asked.

"I'm not going." Raven said. She turned and moved over to her bed, sitting on the edge and grabbing his cloak.

"Raven this is the only chance were going to get to say goodbye." Bee said.

"But if I go then I'll know that he's really dead. I don't want him to be dead." She let a tear fall from her eye again as she watched the clock on her bedside.

"He's dead sweetie. You need to let it go and be there for him today. Please, just come with me." Bee grabbed her and gently pulled her up from the bed. Raven stumbled down the hall way with Bee to Cyborgs car. They got in and rode the car to a small cemetery outside the city. Raven noticed that the villains Wykkyd had once lived with where also here. They were escorted by a policeman though they didn't look like they'd run even if an opportunity did present itself.

Raven sat back, listening to Jinx, Billy and Seemore speak. She held back tears as Cyborg, and Robin both said some words and then it was her turn. But she couldn't do it. She shook her had _no_ again so that Robin would know she could not do this.

Robin wrapped up and they started lowering Wykkyd into the ground. Raven watched intently as they did so, and listened to the comments around her. Most were saying how sick Slade was and how much they wanted to make him pay. However, there was one thing that Billy said which Raven could not help but think about. He had asked Seemore what the chances where of a magical resurrection. Malchior had taught her plenty when they were together and although he never mentioned resurrection, the spell that was used to free him could be changed, altered to resurrect a person.

She couldn't not try it. Wykkyd was right there and no one was paying too much attention to her. She was confident with her abilities to try this spell. Raven moved further back into the crowed till she had enough room to sink away in the darkness of her magic. Inside her room she yanked the powers and potions that were used from a shelf. Her magic moved the objects around the room, placing them in the correct fashion. She took the cloak stained with blood and placed it on the floor in the centre.

All that was left was to get the body, of course this was something she needed to be careful about. If her friends saw what she was trying they might try to stop her. She was worried that they would think she was only getting her hopes up for something that would never work. But she didn't care if she was dreaming. She wanted him back. And she would use whatever she could to do that.

Raven teleported back to her friends, however she appeared a great distance away. She made the coffin vanish and appear in front of her, then teleported before anyone could see her. It wouldn't take them long to realise that she took the coffin, after all she was the only one no longer there.

In her room, she started the spell. Her heart pounded inside her chest as the spelled caused items to rip and fall apart. Flash showed up in front of her and tried to stop her, however she'd finished the finally line.

"Raven he's dead. Let him go." Flash said trying to pull her away. He moved her to a desk and stared into her eyes. "I know it hurts to lose him but you need to let go. Taking him away does nothing for him. Please, let's go back."

Raven waited, but nothing was happening. "It should have worked. It was going to save him."

"Nothing can save him Raven, he's already dead." Flash moved over to the coffin as the rest of her friends and the unhappy members of the Hive burst into her room. She sighed and fell back into the chair. This was bound to land her in a padded cell. And all she'd been trying to do was get him back.

"How could you, it was his funeral and you just took him from it. Did you want to be notice so much that you took this day away from him." Billy said pointing a figure at Raven.

"I know, I just. I wanted to him back." She mumbled.

"he isn't coming back, he's dead!" Billy yelled and slammed his hand beside her.

' _Who's dead. And why do I feel like I've been hit in the head with a train.'_ Raven's eyes widened as the voice appeared in her had. She turned to the coffin. Billy's eyes also turned to the coffin. _'Actually, I have a new question. Am I inside a coffin?'_


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3: Wasn't Meant to be**

I stood at the grave stone and stared trying to think of the right words to express the emotions I had been feeling. There was so many things that had happened. So many wonderful and horrible things. The things I had wished we spoke about and the things I wanted to forget. You had begged me in the end, pleaded for me to change this. I couldn't do anything for you; I could not save you.

It had started the day I brought you back from the dead. All of us where stunned that it worked, you most of all. However, some of my friends hadn't believed this to be a permanent and where worried for me on the day it would end. I tired from the start to push those thoughts away from me. I had you back and that was all I needed.

When you spoke, I didn't hesitate to move over to you. For the first time since we had become involved with one another, I found myself completely confident in my actions. It was as though the presence of my friends and those who were occupying my room no longer mattered. I kissed you without hesitation or thought. I pulled you to me and once I broke away from our shared kiss, I cried on your shoulder.

You had always been the stronger one, and the one who could open his emotions. So, it came as no shock that you said ' _I love you'_ into my mind. I replied almost instantly, worried that I may never get the chance too. I needed you to understand that I wouldn't be able to deal with a life that you were no longer in. I needed you, I loved you.

That should have been the only thing to hurt us. I wanted it to end there, and that no other villain would ever hurt you. It would become too painful. So, I fought harder in battles to keep people away from you. You would always laugh at my, over protectiveness but I knew you also understood.

It had been less than a month when things started to change. I found myself become far more open with our relationship. We grew so much closer to the point where neither of us wanted to be apart. You were always my first. My first kiss, my first love, my first everything. I also believed at the time you would be my last.

Then it started to happen. The truth was, no one could ever cheat death. There was no possible way to stop it. If it was your time, you would die. I had thought that I managed to stop death when I brought you back. That your time was now somehow extended by my actions. The truth of it was, death had been trying to take you back from the moment you came back.

It was small things at first. You would act as if something I had done was new, then quickly remember it had happened before. You would forget things about me then remember them and feel embarrassed. My friends saw the signs long before I did. I had never wanted to see the signs. I had only wanted to be with you.

Soon though, things started to change for the worse. You would have moments where a pain would shoot through you, then it would disappear. This only worsened as time progressed.

The first time I truly understood that something was wrong was during the middle of the night. I had woken up in my dark room, to the side of my circular bed to realise that you were no longer there. I got up and headed to the kitchen, wondering if maybe you had become trusty. When I entered the kitchen, I had been completely caught off guard.

You, the person I loved most in the world, was sitting in a chair with a gun in your hand. You were facing me. I had moved in front of you and attempted to take the gun from you, but it was no use. You pulled the trigger and I lived through that dark moment again. I felt my heart stab with the sight and found that my body couldn't take it as I closed my eyes.

By morning, you were back. You had no wounds to speak of, but you seemed to be hazy on what had happened in the last month. I thought maybe I did something wrong in the spell I had casted. We studied in my room, thought you seemed more out of it then usually. Your eyes looked almost dead inside and when I touched you, your skin was Icey.

My books told me nothing of what had happened to you and in the end, we slept without knowledge of a cure. I took me the longest time to fall soundly asleep. I feared that when I woke, you would no longer be here. My fears where well placed. At four in the morning, I found myself startled awake as a gunshot rung through the tower. I run and found your body in that same place inside the kitchen. The chair you sat on the night before was there even though we had thrown it out and it was still stained with blood. The gun that Robin had destroyed was the same one you had used and I recognised it as the one from our evidence locker.

The next days pasted with these events playing out. Wykkyd would wake in the morning, his memories hazy and unsure. By lunch he would remember me, and what had happened to him. By night, or specially four am he would shoot himself in the kitchen with a chair we had moved and a gun that should have no longer existed.

Wykkyd also had a habit of becoming more and more depressed as time moved on. He would remember exactly how it felt and feel consent paining running through him. There were moments where he would forget that I loved him and become unsure about what we were. Everything was pressing down on him. Forcing him to live his days in a consent and painful struggle.

I wanted to help him, but I didn't know how. Nothing seemed to be working. I placed charms on him in hopes that he would simple be safe. I tied him to the bed in hopes that he wouldn't try to kill himself, as he had asked. I even forced Cyborg and Robin to stay up and stop him from entering the kitchen. Nothing stopped him.

It was four weeks in when I finally found something in my books. However, what was written had made me so upset that I hid the truth. I tore the page out and throw it in my bin before anyone could see it. I understood at that point that there was nothing I could do. Or at least, there was nothing that I was willing to do.

Instead I allowed you to suffer for another week. Things become so painful that you would cry or scream in your sleep and there was nothing I could do to stop you. I was no longer able to help you or make you feel better. Your memory was even taking longer to come back. Sometimes it would take till dinner, and I spend the day watching you instead of being with you.

It was on one of your better days that the secret I had thrown away was discovered. Robin had noticed the piece of paper in the bin beside my dresser. He uncrumpled the paper and begin to read through the text. I hadn't notice him at all, because my focus had been on you. You could remember me, and you tried to spend your time holding me and telling me home much you cared. I understood that you did this because you were worried about your memory. That you would forget and I would not be able to help you.

It was then that Robin turned to me and said "This says he can't live. That Wykkyd will constantly kill himself till he returns to the dead." And you stood and moved to him. I watched in shook as you looked it over and finally understood that you were not allowed to live.

' _This bit says only the magic that brought me back can kill me,'_ Wykkyd had read. I was heartbroken by the idea. ' _I can't stay here then? And it's you who had to kill me,'_ Wykkyd had said as he moved over to me. I watched as he knelt and peered into my eyes.

"How could I? How could I take away your life? I can't even believe that you think I should." I had said.

 _'What life Raven. I can barely remember the things that matter most to me and I'm constantly causing you pain. I'm not supposed to be here anymore.'_ He said.

"I won't kill you." For me that had been the end of the conversation. It didn't matter that Robin and you had tried to tell me it was the right thing to do. It didn't matter that you wanted me to think about it. Nothing mattered besides the fact that you were alive.

That night, when I came out to find you, I instead found only Robin, holding the gun. He pulled the trigger, but nothing happened. However, on your face was a look of utter sadness. You truly wanted to die.

"How…" I started to speak but was lost for words. The pair of you were trying to take your life without even speaking to me. "Wykkyd, why would you do this?" I asked.

' _I can't do it anymore Raven. It's hard enough forgetting you, but this, coming to this room with a mind that wants me to pull that trigger… I can't keep living. Each time I'm about to pull the trigger I remember that moment when you're talking to Slade and I'm trying to tell you how I feel. And each time it makes me hurt even more. I wake up with this burning in my heart and even when I remember you it doesn't go away. Please. I'm not meant to be here. Please, please just kill me,'_

That is how I ended up at your gravestone again. I used my powers to take away the life that I had given to you. It hurt me more than anything, even after five years. I thought about the things I could have changed, and one single things comes to mind. I wished that I never revived you. I wish that I never forced you to live in a constant state of pain. And I wished you could of at least remembered me.

 **A/N: Okay, I know this is sad and people will likely hate me for it, but this was the ending that I wanted for this story. The idea that there was nothing that could be done to save him. so sorry if I've upset anyone but this is what I wanted.**


End file.
